Because some people have expressed concern that with my golfing, gun shooting, and mid-West travel this summer I am getting dangerously close to being considered a conservative, I offer:
http://www.editrix.us/2008/08/lesson-learned.html
It's funny, even if you are a conservative. Not funny if you actually like government bureaucracy.
Friday, August 8, 2008
You know you're paying someone too much when...
I had a golf lesson last night. (Not that you asked, but the golf lessons are going well. I have this problem where I'm hitting everything to the right. So last night we mainly just worked on that. Not entirely successful in the work, but improvement. I am a little upset at my new clubs, though. I don't think they are living up to their potential, and that disappoints me. If they'd just put a little more effort into it, I know we could be fabulous together.)
So, I had a golf lesson. I really like my instructor. He does have a tendency to give me too many things to work on at once, and we all know I'm not smart enough to concentrate on more than one thing at a time. But, he's patient and encouraging and knows what he's talking about.
Let's call him Patrick, because, well, that's his name.
So Patrick tells me a story about his personal life last night. He's lamenting, because he just yesterday bought his wife a new car. But she was driving today to Hilton Head to meet up with her family. And instead of taking her new car, she was taking his new car.
Because his is a Porsche.
(I don't actually know that this is the car he bought, but pictures make blogs so much more enjoyable.)
Let me stop you there - I know there are holes in this story. What kind of car did she get? What kind of Porsche does he have? Is her car not up to par (hardy, har, har) with his?
But forget those questions. Let's instead focus on - why is my golf instructor telling me about his two brand-new cars, one of which is a Porsche? How lucrative are private golf lessons if he's buying two new cars, one of which is a Porsche? Am I paying too much here?
(Disclaimer: I really am a nice person - I don't hold him purchasing the luxury vehicles [you have to assume her's is luxury, right? How could a woman let her husband get a Porsche and not get a luxury vehicle herself?] against him. Golf instruction is actually his second job, so clearly he works hard for his income. It sounds like a nice treat to himself. What I find amusing in the whole story is him telling me about it. When someone's making a commission off a service he's giving me, you'd think he'd keep how much money he was pulling out of my pockets on the D-L, instead of dangling it in my face!)
And an unrelated closer... it's Friday! A few more hours, and I'll be done with a boring week in which I spent all five work days at my desk! Yah!
So, I had a golf lesson. I really like my instructor. He does have a tendency to give me too many things to work on at once, and we all know I'm not smart enough to concentrate on more than one thing at a time. But, he's patient and encouraging and knows what he's talking about.
Let's call him Patrick, because, well, that's his name.
So Patrick tells me a story about his personal life last night. He's lamenting, because he just yesterday bought his wife a new car. But she was driving today to Hilton Head to meet up with her family. And instead of taking her new car, she was taking his new car.
Because his is a Porsche.
(I don't actually know that this is the car he bought, but pictures make blogs so much more enjoyable.)
Let me stop you there - I know there are holes in this story. What kind of car did she get? What kind of Porsche does he have? Is her car not up to par (hardy, har, har) with his?
But forget those questions. Let's instead focus on - why is my golf instructor telling me about his two brand-new cars, one of which is a Porsche? How lucrative are private golf lessons if he's buying two new cars, one of which is a Porsche? Am I paying too much here?
(Disclaimer: I really am a nice person - I don't hold him purchasing the luxury vehicles [you have to assume her's is luxury, right? How could a woman let her husband get a Porsche and not get a luxury vehicle herself?] against him. Golf instruction is actually his second job, so clearly he works hard for his income. It sounds like a nice treat to himself. What I find amusing in the whole story is him telling me about it. When someone's making a commission off a service he's giving me, you'd think he'd keep how much money he was pulling out of my pockets on the D-L, instead of dangling it in my face!)
And an unrelated closer... it's Friday! A few more hours, and I'll be done with a boring week in which I spent all five work days at my desk! Yah!
Thursday, August 7, 2008
Does this count as a post from Mike?
He just e-mailed me this:
http://incredimazing.com/page/Bacon_Flowchart
Just the link, nothing else in the e-mail. Because it speaks for itself.
http://incredimazing.com/page/Bacon_Flowchart
Just the link, nothing else in the e-mail. Because it speaks for itself.
Fashion advice from my husband
I know I'm not quite as fashionable as some of my girlfriends. And I know that I could be just a bit more fashionable with unlimited resources - but when you have to make do with styles several seasons old, well, you just make do.
It's also getting to the end of the summer, which means every time I walk into my closet, I feel like I've worn the same things over and over and over, and absolutely nothing appeals to me.
So like many of you, I try some new combinations, pull out an old shirt and see if a different belt or jewelry can bring it into 2008.
This morning I failed miserably. How miserably? So miserably that Mike - in all his fashion-forwardness - told me I looked like I belonged on a ranch in Wyoming.
And that's not the most upsetting part of the story. The most upsetting part is that he liked it. Didn't want me to change. Thought I wouldn't change, even after he said the phrase, "you look like you belong on a ranch in Wyoming."
For the record, because you may be confused - while this summer, I have, in fact, been on a ranch in Wyoming, on this particular morning, that's not where I was headed. Instead, I was headed for my downtown office in Washington, D.C. And even when I was on said ranch in Wyoming, on a horse no less, I was still in designer jeans and a polo shirt that complimented my eyes, thank you very much. I hope you can begin to see why I didn't take "you look like you belong on a ranch in Wyoming," as a compliment.
And if you can't see that - find another blog to read.
(Again, in full disclosure, I admit the outfit wasn't my finest. Khakis that are just a touch baggy, a button-down blouse with blue and yellow checks, brown belt and brown heals.)
Calm down - I took it off!
Back to this morning. The scene went like this: I get dressed in the closet, and walk out just as Mike walks out of the bathroom. He sees me, says The Phrase, and I swing on my heals and walk back into the closet without comment. Just like that - no time to think it over - I knew immediately that I must change.
This, of course, upset Mike. Because he quickly follows up with, "but I like that outfit!"
I start picking through clothes.
He says, "But why won't you leave it on if I like it?"
I pull out another pair of pants.
"You tell me what to wear!"
I roll my eyes. It's 6:40 a.m., no coffee yet. Do we really need to discuss that I don't pull out outfits that make him look like he's headed to a ranch in Wyoming? That, in general, it's just a given that at any particular moment, I'll pull out a better outfit for him than he would have otherwise picked out himself? Do we need to point out that he still has flannel shirts and jean shorts in his drawers?
Case closed.
I changed. I came to work. I'm online shopping.
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
There's going to be an incident
I'm about to kill this woman.
Either that, or my dog's gonna kill her dog. And I don't mean that in a cute "my baby's tougher than your baby" bumper sticker kind of way. I mean, my dog is literally going to bite the head off this other dog.
Let me back up. Many of you know my adorable Labrador retriever, Goldie. Here she is:
Look how lazy! Look how cute! Look how she'd really not be bothered from her naps, except to eat!
But, that's when she's around people. Around other animals... well, let's just say she's not a dog's dog.
In fact, Goldie pretty much hates other dogs. She doesn't hate her cousin, Sadie, but I think that has a lot to do with Sadie always leaving uneaten food lying around that Goldie can then eat. (Just kidding, Lauren. Goldie loves Sadie because Sadie is a wonderful animal.)
So other than Sadie, I'm not really sure Goldie has other dog friends. She'd rather not be bothered. (oh! wait! Basset Hounds! Goldie has a fascination with basset hounds. Kind of like a guy saying he prefers blonds. Goldie prefers basset hounds).
That's why I keep Goldie on a leash at all times. We gave up on the dog park a long time ago. On walks, I cross the street when we see other dogs. When I'm out front, washing the car or planting flowers, I tie her up to a tree. I just don't want to take my chances.
So there's this dumb, crazy, idiot of a woman that lives up the street from me. Not in my little community, but the one next to ours. She walks her two dogs down South Early and lets them do their business on our common areas. (Strike number one against her.) For years now, she has let her dogs walk without a leash.
Actually, they have leashes, she just lets go of them so they drag on the ground.
On numerous occasions, when Goldie and I have been out front, they've run up my street and onto my driveway, sending Goldie in a tizzy. I've asked the woman several times to keep them on a leash, because Goldie just might hurt them. She looks at me blankly, and usually squeaks out, "oh. okay."
Just recently, she's begun walking her dogs in the morning, hitting the same street corner about the same time Goldie (on her leash!) and I do. Low and behold, her dogs are not on leashes.
So one of her dogs comes charging up to Goldie one morning. I don't think the dog had malicious intent. But what I can't seem to get through to this woman is that my dog does.
Just look how fierce:
I flipped a lid. Outside my community, at 6:15 a.m., without coffee. Flipped. A. Lid.
I screamed at her. I told her one of these days, my dog was going to bite into her dog, and I wasn't going to be responsible for it. Yelled that she needed to keep her dogs on a leash - and actually hold the leash! Then I stomped away in a huff. I felt I made my point.
Not so! The very next day she's back on the same corner, with the dogs, sans leashes.
I wish my looks could kill. I think this one came about as close to it as possible. I'm not sure I'll be so restrained if it happens again. Doesn't this woman understand I've been shooting guns all summer?!?! Now I really am a threat! Ha!
At the very least, Goldie is! I mean, would you trust this face:
Either that, or my dog's gonna kill her dog. And I don't mean that in a cute "my baby's tougher than your baby" bumper sticker kind of way. I mean, my dog is literally going to bite the head off this other dog.
Let me back up. Many of you know my adorable Labrador retriever, Goldie. Here she is:
Look how lazy! Look how cute! Look how she'd really not be bothered from her naps, except to eat!
But, that's when she's around people. Around other animals... well, let's just say she's not a dog's dog.
In fact, Goldie pretty much hates other dogs. She doesn't hate her cousin, Sadie, but I think that has a lot to do with Sadie always leaving uneaten food lying around that Goldie can then eat. (Just kidding, Lauren. Goldie loves Sadie because Sadie is a wonderful animal.)
So other than Sadie, I'm not really sure Goldie has other dog friends. She'd rather not be bothered. (oh! wait! Basset Hounds! Goldie has a fascination with basset hounds. Kind of like a guy saying he prefers blonds. Goldie prefers basset hounds).
That's why I keep Goldie on a leash at all times. We gave up on the dog park a long time ago. On walks, I cross the street when we see other dogs. When I'm out front, washing the car or planting flowers, I tie her up to a tree. I just don't want to take my chances.
So there's this dumb, crazy, idiot of a woman that lives up the street from me. Not in my little community, but the one next to ours. She walks her two dogs down South Early and lets them do their business on our common areas. (Strike number one against her.) For years now, she has let her dogs walk without a leash.
Actually, they have leashes, she just lets go of them so they drag on the ground.
On numerous occasions, when Goldie and I have been out front, they've run up my street and onto my driveway, sending Goldie in a tizzy. I've asked the woman several times to keep them on a leash, because Goldie just might hurt them. She looks at me blankly, and usually squeaks out, "oh. okay."
Just recently, she's begun walking her dogs in the morning, hitting the same street corner about the same time Goldie (on her leash!) and I do. Low and behold, her dogs are not on leashes.
So one of her dogs comes charging up to Goldie one morning. I don't think the dog had malicious intent. But what I can't seem to get through to this woman is that my dog does.
Just look how fierce:
I flipped a lid. Outside my community, at 6:15 a.m., without coffee. Flipped. A. Lid.
I screamed at her. I told her one of these days, my dog was going to bite into her dog, and I wasn't going to be responsible for it. Yelled that she needed to keep her dogs on a leash - and actually hold the leash! Then I stomped away in a huff. I felt I made my point.
Not so! The very next day she's back on the same corner, with the dogs, sans leashes.
I wish my looks could kill. I think this one came about as close to it as possible. I'm not sure I'll be so restrained if it happens again. Doesn't this woman understand I've been shooting guns all summer?!?! Now I really am a threat! Ha!
At the very least, Goldie is! I mean, would you trust this face:
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
On a kick
I'm sitting here at my desk, eating my turkey and cheese wrap, trying to make my blog cooler.
(oops, I said, "my blog." I mean "our blog." Oh, who am I kidding? Did any of your REALLY expect Mike to post a single entry up here? I bet he doesn't even remember his log in and password. I'm not even sure he reads this. In fact, yesterday's post about the flip flops was kind of a test!)
I'm not the most technologically advanced, so I'm very much relying on Blogger's add-on features - as opposed to knowing how to create and add this stuff myself!
So I've added a list of some of the other blogs that I follow. I figure, why should I be the only one distracting myself during the day with these? For those of you reading this who don't see YOUR blog posted to the right, let me know. I didn't want to post it without your permission. (see, right there, how old school that thinking is? You've got a blog on the World Wide Web for Pete's sake. Clearly, you want people to read it.)
(oops, I said, "my blog." I mean "our blog." Oh, who am I kidding? Did any of your REALLY expect Mike to post a single entry up here? I bet he doesn't even remember his log in and password. I'm not even sure he reads this. In fact, yesterday's post about the flip flops was kind of a test!)
I'm not the most technologically advanced, so I'm very much relying on Blogger's add-on features - as opposed to knowing how to create and add this stuff myself!
So I've added a list of some of the other blogs that I follow. I figure, why should I be the only one distracting myself during the day with these? For those of you reading this who don't see YOUR blog posted to the right, let me know. I didn't want to post it without your permission. (see, right there, how old school that thinking is? You've got a blog on the World Wide Web for Pete's sake. Clearly, you want people to read it.)
It doesn't show, but I've been at this for an hour now! I figured out how to add a Twitter feature to the blog, but couldn't get it synced with my Twitter account... so the widget just sat there, instead of changing every time I posted up to Twitter. Frustrating.
But, I promise to take another stab at it soon! There's so much cool stuff out there to personalize these! If you've got ideas for me, bring them on!
Monday, August 4, 2008
Do you Twitter?
No? Please start.
What's Twitter? In my own words (meaning, not cut and pasted from the official description on the site), it's a way to get brief (litterally... 140 characters) updates on your friends. What they are thinking, what they are doing, a cool article they just read. Whatever. When you set up an account, you can follow others. You can even follow news sites, so you get updates on breaking news.
Side note... I fully realize that me getting into all this "2.0" stuff is probably what you all are going to throw in my face when I say things like, "I'm okay with turning 30. Really." Mike has his flip flops "the kids are wearing these days," and I have my Web toys "the kids are creating these days."
Back to Twitter: It's kind of like a status on Facebook (you are on Facebook, right? I'm not too old to be on Facebook, am I?). You can follow others by going to the Twitter Web site and seeing their updates, or my favorite, get the updates sent as text messages to your phone. You can even follow people you don't really know, so long as they have an open profile. For example, I'm following this woman I've never met before, but who has a really funny blog that Lauren told me about. If I thought her blog was funny, her Twitters are hysterical!
So, go, set up a Twitter account, and tell me about it, so I can start following you... I promise not to tell you you're too old to Twitter.
It's a tough life
Sunday, August 3, 2008
The birthday debate
Most of you probably know that this is a big year for Mike and I. We turn... the big 3-0.
It's caused a lot of debate at the house, and with our friends. It's hitting Mike... well, a little hard. This is how hard: yesterday, he informed me he was going to purchase a pair of thong flip-flops, "like the kids are wearing these days."
That phrase has particular significance, because it took me years to get him to wear a pair of dark wash jeans, "like the kids are wearing these days." So for him to come up with flip-flops on his own... well, this is a serious situation.
I, on the other hand, really think I'm unfazed. Maybe I'm just kidding myself, but I'm okay with the birthday! I feel great, I'm having fun, we've got disposable income to play with - how's an age going to make that any worse? Can't it just get better from here??
But the big 3-0 has led to a debate... how to celebrate it! From the post above, you can guess that Mike's way of celebrating it is not at all. My way of celebrating it is a huge party!
His birthday is in a week and a half, and it's been like pulling teeth to get him to talk about it, let alone to find out if he wants to go out to dinner, stay in, invite friends over, or whatever! I think he's hoping that it slips by unrecognized. (so dumb. Doesn't he realize his wife has a blog? ha!)
I think we'll do dinner with his brother and sister-in-law on Saturday, and then do a joint party later this fall. Our big debate is whether to hold the party mid-birthdays (in October) or closer to my birthday (which falls on a Saturday this year).
As much as I'm "okay" with turning 30... I don't want to turn it earlier than I have to! But I also don't want a party on my birthday to infer that it's not for him, too!
What's your weigh-in? When would you like to join us to party??
It's caused a lot of debate at the house, and with our friends. It's hitting Mike... well, a little hard. This is how hard: yesterday, he informed me he was going to purchase a pair of thong flip-flops, "like the kids are wearing these days."
That phrase has particular significance, because it took me years to get him to wear a pair of dark wash jeans, "like the kids are wearing these days." So for him to come up with flip-flops on his own... well, this is a serious situation.
I, on the other hand, really think I'm unfazed. Maybe I'm just kidding myself, but I'm okay with the birthday! I feel great, I'm having fun, we've got disposable income to play with - how's an age going to make that any worse? Can't it just get better from here??
But the big 3-0 has led to a debate... how to celebrate it! From the post above, you can guess that Mike's way of celebrating it is not at all. My way of celebrating it is a huge party!
His birthday is in a week and a half, and it's been like pulling teeth to get him to talk about it, let alone to find out if he wants to go out to dinner, stay in, invite friends over, or whatever! I think he's hoping that it slips by unrecognized. (so dumb. Doesn't he realize his wife has a blog? ha!)
I think we'll do dinner with his brother and sister-in-law on Saturday, and then do a joint party later this fall. Our big debate is whether to hold the party mid-birthdays (in October) or closer to my birthday (which falls on a Saturday this year).
As much as I'm "okay" with turning 30... I don't want to turn it earlier than I have to! But I also don't want a party on my birthday to infer that it's not for him, too!
What's your weigh-in? When would you like to join us to party??
In DC for a whole week!
I'm back from Montana, and Mike and Goldie seem to have survived without me! Unless, of course, you figure that Mike "had" to buy new socks to wear because he didn't have any clean ones, and the food that I had purchased and left in the fridge for him for the three days I'd be gone was rotting and stinking up the kitchen.
But, they were both alive!
Landed in DC late Friday night. I have some great photos that I'll upload tomorrow and post. We've spent the past two days back in reality - catching up with friends we haven't seen in a while, laundry (MORE laundry?? Seriously, is this what I do for a living?), etc., etc.
Isn't it much more glamorous to hear about travels around the country instead of my laundry?! Ha!
But, they were both alive!
Landed in DC late Friday night. I have some great photos that I'll upload tomorrow and post. We've spent the past two days back in reality - catching up with friends we haven't seen in a while, laundry (MORE laundry?? Seriously, is this what I do for a living?), etc., etc.
Isn't it much more glamorous to hear about travels around the country instead of my laundry?! Ha!
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