Since you asked

Joe, you do such wonderful things for my ego.

So, since you asked...

(Jenelle, Stop. Right. Here. You are no less of a friend for not reading any more.)

I was nervous as all get out. I knew it wouldn't "hurt" in so far as pain like cutting or anything. But I knew it would be a lot of discomfort (kinda verging on pain) and then the discomfort part is doubled when you realize -- :Holy s&*t! This isn't pressure on my arm! This is on my eyeball!"

The Xanax does make you a bit loopy and slow. You're conscious that every reaction you have is delayed by a few seconds.

There were two machines, and the first one was way worse than the second. I think both involved lasers, but I honestly don't know.

They prop open your eye, but use something different for each of the two machines. And they only prop open one eye at a time. So I laid down, and he put masking tape over my left eye.

Then he ...

(Jenelle, I'm serious. Do not go any further.)

Then he propped my right eye open with what can best be described as what it would feel like if you took a shot measurer and shoved it in your eye. Meaning, it almost felt like the contraption went all the way down your eye and kinda popped it out.

Hey, Joe asked.

That one really did verge on the hurting. And it went black, so that was scary, too. The doctor had warned about it, but, still, it was scary. He counted backwards in groups of five from 30, so you knew how long it would last, and that really did help.

And he didn't pause between eyes for you to be able to freak out much. Know how I said your reactions, because of the Xanax, were delayed? Well, that machine stopped (I think it was actually slicing the cornea) and he pulled out the contraption on the right eye, ripped off the tape on the left, and shoved it in the left. Like you didn't have time to say, "you know, about this whole thing..." All of a sudden he was counting backwards from 30 again.

I was laying on a table, and he swiveled the table from under that machine, stopped in the middle for a second to shine and light and make sure the cut had been made, taped up the left on again, and put me under the other machine.

(I swear, Jenelle, you're going to throw up here. If you haven't already.)

There was a red light you were supposed to focus on. He started using his hands and tools then, to pull back the cornea. My eyeball moved, and he said to "fight" him moving the eyeball. Um, right. So I tried to stay focused on the red light, and when he removed the flaps, it went completely blurry. More than just without my glasses. I could still see light, so it wasn't like the first machine.

Oh, and him touching my eye didn't hurt. They had numbed it, and that really worked. The clamp keeping my lids open was uncomfortable, but him touching my eye didn't hurt at all.

But then the laser started. You'd think with all this technology, they could make a quiet laser so it doesn't freak you out. But this thing reved up with "tat, tat, tattatatatatatat" and some air bursts.

The doctor counted backwards, this time probably from only 15, then he swung the machine away and used the tools to place the flaps back. Then he smoothed them with a little paint brush. Again, that didn't really hurt, although it felt like something was in your eye. Like you wanted to pull your head away. And you could see the brush going over your eye, like he was painting it.

Thanks to the Xanax, though, it wasn't until he was done when you did the "Holy S*&t" moment again, though. Unfortunately, there was another eye. So I think I was more tense on the second eye than the first, even though none of the second machine hurt as much as the first. Just the

realization of what he was doing.

But that was just a few seconds more, and then he pulled away the machines and literally grabbed my shoulders and pulled me up. I was kinda woozy, but the nurse pulled me off the bed and over to a chair. He sat down and looked at my eyes through a normal machine from an eye doc office and said it all went great, buh bye.

The nurse had me by the arm walking me out before I even realized that he was done, basically.

The whole rest of Friday it felt like sand in my eyes and that was scary. I didn't expect so much discomfort on Friday. I had only heard the stories of people saying, "I woke up from the nap and could see the clock!" And I could. But it kinda hurt to focus.

Yesterday was less of sand in my eyes and more dry eyes -- like I had my contacts in and it was 11 p.m. at night in a smokey bar.

Right when I woke up today, they were really dry and scratchy. But since I've been putting drops in (there are so many drops -- four different types), they haven't bothered me at all.

The worst is that you can't get near your eyes to clean them. So the drops dry and around my eyes feels kinda grungy. The doc yesterday at my follow up appointment, when I asked her for tips to clean my eyelids, told me to get used to it for a week, and not to touch them. Yuck.

So there you have it! The gory details! Hey, you asked!