I Got Found Out

The Cookie Discussion happened on Sunday night.

Generally an even better signal to the start of the holiday season than buying a Christmas tree, the Cookie Discussion involves dreaming and wanting and salivating and eagerness and all-in-all coveting. You know, the true meaning of Christmas.*

The Cookie Discussion has always intended to be a wish list for the wonderful family friend who sends dozens upon dozens of cookies to Alexandria as her gift to us. It's usually a fruitless (ba dum dum) discussion, because we end up requesting all the kinds she makes, and lots of them, so there's really nothing to "discuss" per say.

But not so this year. I mentioned before that I'm trying to cut way down the amount of flour, rice, corn and potatoes that I eat. That poses a problem for, oh, ALL Christmas cookies. (Except these, which Robert pointed out to me, much to Mike's chagrin. I'm not sure I'm going to go to this extreme, but I am going to attempt to make chocolate chip cookies and sugar cookies with almond flour instead of white flour.**)

So Barb brought down the list of available types of cookies, and reassurances from the family friend, Heather, that we could request even just a small number of cookies if we wanted a taste of one kind, but not have dozens laying around. Since she makes cookies for lots of people, she could just pack up, say, 4 of a particular kind for us.

The best part of this discussion was that it was quickly realized that even with said reassurances that it'd be okay if I didn't want a particular kind or quantity of cookie, my requested type and amounts spoke for, well, everyone. No one else, it seems, put in an "order." Instead, everyone just shares off of my order.

After cries of, "What do you mean you don't want buckeyes?!?!" and "Only a dozen chocolate chip?? They'll be gone in a day!" I realized that the correct answer to the question, "Maureen, how many of Heather's cookies do you want this year, and what kinds?"was, "All of them! Just like always!"***

But then the conversation took a bad turn.

Then everyone realized that I may have been, um, well, ahem, sort of holding out on them all these years.

See, I do put the cookies out for everyone during the holidays. Especially as a dessert that I don't have to fuss with or clean up, since we all know that I'd rather spend 8 hours on the main course and not so much on the baking part (so exacting, baking is).

But, well, I may not put out every cookie available on these nights.  After all, there's just so many.

So when Lauren suggested that we all state our favorite kinds and we put in one, large, Petron Family order to Heather, and I might have said that I requested triple chocolate chip cookies (where the third chocolate isn't white, it's FUDGE) and peanut butter sandwiched between Ritz crackers and dipped in chocolate (don't judge until you've tried them) and Lauren stated that she'd never heard of either of them. Let alone eaten them. Either of them. Ever.

Barb says, "What are you talking about, Heather sends them every year!"

Lauren says, "No, I don't think I've ever had them. Are they white chocolate chip?"

David agrees, "I'm not sure I've had them, either."

Barb says, "Sure! We have them... wait. I guess they're always in Maureen's kitchen, but... well, I don't know. Maureen, do you put them out?"

Oops.

I got found out.



*That was a joke, people.

** But with real sugar. I mean, come on.

*** I'm not as dumb as I look.